Spray tan from a spray can,
Hair bleach and botox,
My abs are the hardest,
Attracting women in flocks
My wig is the finest,
Made from the hair of a model,
Golden locks set in curls,
Smells of cologne from a bottle
Why is it so small?
Well it’s not for my head,
I use model hair to wow,
the ladies in bed
You see,
Despite my good looks,
And my piles of money
I have no pubic hair,
And I’m not being funny
It just never grew,
On my bald baby dick,
So to get ladies in bed,
I must use this pube trick
I lure them in,
With dazzle and flash,
Then the wig does the rest,
Though it leaves a mean rash
I glue it all down,
But it always gets sticky,
That’s why my closet is full,
Of wigs for my pricky
And now you know,
My secret success,
And to you my son,
I pass this collection I possess
For you will soon know,
The same plight as I,
But dry up your tears,
There’s no need to cry
You have pube wigs a plenty!
You’re a king like no other,
Oh hey look! That’s the one,
I used with your Mother
Don’t worry I washed it,
And it’s yours now,
My bald little boy,
Go make your Dad proud.